If I get pregnant again, the odds of needing a heart transplant is a considerable one. Death would be another possibility.
Yet somehow my health risks wouldn’t matter, because my imaginary fetus would carry “personhood rights” while I’ve been downgraded to the status of a farm animal. Who cares what happens to the mom? After all, it’s not like women matter.
Each week, there seems to be a new bill on the table somewhere stripping away more women’s rights.
A bill is getting ready to pass where I live that would allow doctors to lie to women about being pregnant if they suspect the mom might have an abortion. I guess with my pregnancy-induced heart condition, I would now fall into this category. I don’t see anything wrong with a mother choosing her own life, when a fetus is putting her life in danger. And I don’t think I’m a terrible person for having this belief.
While my husband will be having a vasectomy soon to prevent us from having to make that heartbreaking decision, I can’t help but wonder about the women who don’t have this option. In fact, some hospitals won’t even perform hysterectomies (even lifesaving ones), because they go against their "values.” The fact that any hospital would value death over life is absolutely disgusting.
And just when I think Republican men can’t dehumanize women anymore, they take their douchebaggery to a new level. This week, Georgia is debating a bill that would force women carry stillborn babies until they “naturally” go into labor, because that’s what farm animals do. The point of this is absolutely baffling. The fetus is dead. The only intention from a bill like this can be to cause women emotional trauma…while putting her health in jeopardy. It's like they are actively trying to kill women off.
I get that Republican politicians seem to switch out their wives for newer models more often than the average Joe trades in a car, so the topic of unconditional love might be taboo to them – but most men don’t want their wives to die. Especially when something as simple as birth control (or having a doctor be honest) could save them.
I never thought women would have to prove themselves to be worthy of human rights. We are moving backwards. It makes me terrified for what rights my daughter may never have.
Hear, hear!! I'm so glad SOMEONE in the blogosphere has big enough balls to say this!!! I came out of lurker status just to say this. Love your blog, congrats on your sweet baby, and go you for standing up for women's rights!!!
ReplyDeletehear hear!
DeleteImaginary fetus? Glad your mom did not feel this way. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteImaginary fetus, as in – I am not currently pregnant. Bless your heart.
DeleteBravo, Ashley!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to drop you a note to tell you that I have been reading your blog and my heart goes out to you for everything that you have endured in the last several months. I hope and pray for continued healing, and I am so sorry that I have not commented until now. It always seemed like I was on my phone or the kids would get me away from the computer when I was going to comment. But that is no excuse, I just wanted to tell you that you are in my prayers and congrats on the beautiful little girl. :D
I totally agree with you! It is so refreshing to see someone in the house/design blogosphere take a stand for human rights! because that's what this is about - not religion. It's about women having control over their own bodies - not some doctor, priest or lawmaker! Thank you for posting!!!
ReplyDeleteWe are going backwards and it scares the heck out of me.
ReplyDeleteLower wages, less rights, what's next? Will we lose the right to vote because we may not be able to clearly think to make an intelligent decision because we are under the influence of hormones?
AMEN! I will never understand how the party that fights for less government involvement attempts to pass laws that infringe on the individual rights of woman. The decision of what to do with one's body should be up to each individual man or woman, not up to a set of lawmaking men that compare me to livestock and tell me to "turn my head" if I am forced to have an internal ultrasound. Preach on, sister, and best wishes to you and your family as you embark on this new chapter. You've been through such a bittersweet journey...
ReplyDeleteWe have definitely moved backwards. It seems as if we are hundreds of years BEHIND the date, allowing Republican MEN to choose for us. When did religion get into our politics again?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was about to deliver my baby, my husband said that if anything were to go wrong, he's saving me and not the baby. Luckily this didn't happen but it could have.
LOVE THIS!! I'm in my 60's now, a card carrying liberal all my life and I CANNOT believe what's happening here. I swear, my husband and I have talked about becoming ex-pats if some of this stuff goes down. Unbelievable...thanks for your post - IT'S NECESSARY for you young women to step up and keep your rights. It was a long fight and obviously it's not over. And, kudos to your husband for his decision re: birth control. Perfect!
ReplyDeleteUgh THIS MAKES ME HATE EVERYONE. Everyone but you. Love you. I'm sure your imaginary fetus would be amazing and all, but I'd rather have you alive. Just personally.
ReplyDeleteI understand that this is a passionate topic for you. I don't really feel I can give my two cents on these issues b/c I haven't read up on these bills yet. However, if you are so passionate about these topics and would like to see change and change people's opinions, you might want to form your thoughts in a way that won't offend and isolate (what could be) a large portion of your readers. I fall into the "republican" category in a lot of issues. I am not however an "asshole". My husband is a "republican man". He however, is not an asshole, a wife swapper, against women, or someone who doesn't understand unconditional love. There are some idiot politicians out there, but I can say w/ 100% certainty that these idiots fall on both sides of the political fence. Also, one moron politician doesn't speak for an entire party. Broad generalizations should be left out of political debates. It's never safe to assume that one person represents the whole group.
ReplyDeleteI dont think conservative Republican lawmakers have worried about "isolating" and "offending" a large portion of the entire country. A category that, as a woman, I fall into.
DeleteThat's true about politicians on both sides. And I guess I figure that just b/c the politicians isolate, offend, and name call doesn't make it right for me to do it. I've rarely seen opinions changed or a heart softened when it's approached in that fashion.
DeleteI've done a little reading of the bills now. I'm not sure how I feel about the first one b/c it's not entirely clear what the motives are exactly. I think when you read more closely it's more about protecting doctors from "wrongful birth" lawsuits than it is about not telling a woman she's pregnant. Honestly, I didn't even see that in any of the information. But again, I'm not 100% b/c I've only read a little about it.
The still born bill and the politician talking about farm animals...yes, from what I've read seems absolutely ridiculous. However, he doesn't speak for all republican men or all republicans or all republican politicians for that matter. It's too easy to try and lump us all into one group.
I'm not really interested in a political debate...I was just voicing my opinion that people should be careful how they express themselves when they actually have a platform and an opportunity for others to listen.
The main problem has become the fact that it isnt just "one moron politician". It is becoming a frighteningly widespread epidemic, with bills introduced in nearly every state that are seeking to take away women's rights. The War on Women is very real, and it is NOT being waged by politicians on both sides. This is purely a fight being put up by the "religious right".
DeleteI completely understand that people need to think before the speak, but I've thought about this issue for a long time.
DeleteI feel like ever since Rush's rant, every other day a new bill is being mentioned in a different state that strips away more rights for women and that terrifies me.
I understand that there are many pro-lifers out there, and (protesters aside), I respect their opinion. My husband was adopted, which adds a new level of appreciation for me on this topic. But to me there is a big difference between choosing to stay pregnant and being forced to stay pregnant.
In the state of Kansas, it's considered an abortion to even remove a dead fetus – which is a huge health risk to the mother. In fact, the state is trying to remove funding from hospitals which perform these D&Cs. If that wasn't enough, they are also trying to make it illegal for the staff to perform this lifesaving procedure during daytime hours.
Another state is trying to make it legal to fire women for using birth control pills if the company finds it immoral.
Sadly, the list goes on and on. And it's not democrats creating these bills.
I get that many people go Republican for financial reasons (as in being financially conservative), but the current truth is – the party is being swallowed up by the ultra religious right. I feel like no one wants to question them, in fear of being a "bad Christian" or "against family values."
If I'm a bad person or Christian for believing everyone deserves equal rights, then I guess I'm going to hell.
Nope, don't think you were a bad christian or going to hell. I'm not even commenting on your opinions or beliefs much at all. I probably even agree with a lot of them. I just personally feel like you have a platform where people can "listen" to you and maybe you can change some minds and opinions. But, if you do it with name calling and generalizing, then your target audience won't "listen". As soon as I hear angry rants from EITHER side I usually tune them out.
DeleteAs a Democrat I can say with certainty that many Democrats are assholes too :) You raised very good points. And while I do not think Ashley was trying to insult ALL Republicans, it IS the Republican party that is pushing the agenda and it is a subject that clearly affects her on a very personal level. I think it's great though that both of you can get your point across while still being respectful. I just wish our political leaders could do the same.
DeleteI can't speak for all states who are trying to pass the "lying doctor" bill, but in Kansas it definitely isn't for wrongful birth:
Delete"No civil action may be commenced in any court for a claim of wrongful life or wrongful birth, and no damages may be recovered in any civil action for any physical condition of a minor that existed at the time of such minor’s birth if the damages sought arise out of a claim that a person’s action, or omission, contributed to such minor’s mother not obtaining an abortion."
i can't believe the bill about the still born. unbelievable. this crap never ceases to amaze me.
ReplyDeleteI don't often comment on blogs, but I am a regular reader and this post has moved me to write something. It is so refreshing to see someone take a stand on this, in light of any backlash. I recognize you aren't calling all republicans assholes, and hopefully most people can see beyond that, BUT, the current attack on women's rights in this country is absolutely terrifying. I completely agree with you, and thank you for having the courage to take a stand and not worry about isolating readers etc. Standing up for what matters to you, because it matters to me too! Call your congressmen, senators, local government and take a stand, because doing nothing and worrying about what people may think could be disastrous.
ReplyDeleteThank you again, for sharing your opinion, on your platform!!
Thank you so much for your comment. And thanks for realizing I wasn't calling all Republicans asshole. My husband was actually a Republican when I met him, so clearly I don't think they are all bad. :)
DeleteI have been following this issue for some time now, and am disgusted and scared with where we are headed in this country and the world on women's rights. Unfortunately, we are to a point in history where we may be at the pinnacle of women's rights. Our mothers and grandmothers fought for rights that we are about to lose, and our daughters and granddaughters may never have. Unfortunately, when considering birth rates, the ultra conservative religious (whether it be Catholic, conservative christian, LDS, muslim, etc.), only have to outbreed the rest of us to change the future of the political climate in the next generations. I hate to think that second class citizenship is the legacy we are leaving to future generations of women!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more and definitely share your fear about the religious right outbreeding the rest for political power.
DeleteWell said!!! I agree with every word!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAMEN! As someone who helped a dear friend deliver her stillborn daughter at 7 months I can't even imagine the trauma and health risks that would be associated with making her carry until she naturally went into labor. And where are the laws to protect women like you? You are a perfect example of how flawed this thinking is. And doesn't it make you wonder when they are going to start regulating vasectomies? Hope you and baby Audrey are doing well. She is beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteOh wow. Your poor friend. The insensitivity some people have is so disturbing.
DeleteBravo! If you allow me, I'd like to post a link to your blog/post on my facebook page. More people need to hear what you have to say.
ReplyDeleteI have been praying for you since before Audrey was born and continue to do so. She's a beautiful miracle.
Thank you so much. Feel free to sure my link.
DeleteSometimes it is worth taking a stand - even if you might alienate some viewers and/or advertisers. Some things are THAT important (like women's rights to our own bodies)
ReplyDeleteNo woman should ever be forced by the law, by religion or by a spouse to do something against her will and at risk of her health.
I applaud anyone who takes a stand on this basic human rights issue - however risky that may be.
i was shocked when i read this post. aI live in Australia and hadn't heard this. Not very human at all !!!! Go Ashley for stating your beliefs. I believe most women, if not all, would totally agree.
ReplyDeleteAs a slightly right-of-center republican, I am upset with the way the far right is changing the direction of the party. But as a woman, I am more than upset with the possibilities being considered -- I am outraged. We need to organize and take a stand against these irrational bills.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to my above comment, I must say that I do agree that abortions should not be performed after 20 weeks, unless it is medically necessary to protect the health of the mother. The bill does not address a dead fetus, and does not seem to consider that as a medical emergency. I do not agree with that at all, and find it cruel and unusual punishment to force a woman to carry a dead fetus to term.
ReplyDeleteI will never understand how new mothers can feel this way. I guess only their baby deserves to live. Having a stillbirth is traumatic because you lost the baby, not the way you have to deliver it. Mothers know this is their child, not just a "dead fetus". I read your blog because you have a great eye for decorating but I'll do us both a favor and look elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteMy child is alive because I wanted to get pregnant and have a baby – not because I was forced to. I am not pro-abortion, I am pro-choice and there is a huge difference between the two.
DeleteStillbirths are a terrible thing, and it is a tragedy that anyone has to go through that. But to carry a dead fetus/baby inside of you is not healthy and can kill you. So what's the purposes of forcing something to stay inside of the mother other than to hurt her? While a mother will always grieve for her unborn child, but having to remain pregnant while grieving is just cruel and unusual punishment.
Ashley, say whatever you want, however you want. It is your right. If your husband gets a vasectomy, that is not always 100% effective. If by some chance you do get pregnant again, it is your right to be able to terminate immediately. I am sick of people trying to legislate other people's personal lives. Please, write a letter to the Kansas City and Topeka papers. Contact your local League of Women Voters to let them know your case and position. Not being able to get a D&C in a hospital is sinful. Loose tissue can decompose and cause sepsis. Thanks for keeping us informed and vigilant about all these exceptions. I hate that these men just assume that every woman is out for mischief. AnnW
ReplyDeleteStay home with your baby instead of dropping it off at Daycare from 8:30 until 5:30. Oh, I'm sorry. Thanks to our current Democratic President, you probably have to work to make ends meet. Vote Republican!
ReplyDeleteThis video seems fitting: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/87be7156f5/republicans-get-in-my-vagina
ReplyDelete